"To dream anything you want to dream - that's the beauty of the human mind." - B. Edmonds

I'm in a parking garage. It was someone's birthday - I forget who. I was hanging out with Macoy and Thilak waiting for Lomboy to bring the presents. When she arrived, she brought three presents - one of which she wrapped in paper mache and painted it so that it looked like a fire truck. Out of nowhere, there were a bunch of blue helium filled balloons I had to tie to the railing so that they wouldn't fly away. I remember thinking that the yellow ribbon I had used clashed with balloons in terms of color.



It begins to rain. Amanda, Hannah and I are under a shared blanket watching television while waiting for the rain to stop. In comes Pat.

"I don't like your blog," he tells me. "I can't believe you mentioned ______ like that. Now people are going to start googling her."
"It's okay, I didn't mention her by name. Don't worry. And thanks for the critique."

As the rain continues to fall over my head, so does a state of melancholy. I felt very sad without reason and Amanda was there comforting me. She walked me to the washroom to freshen up where I began trying on a wedding dress. Two wedding dresses. The first one looked like it was from a Pronovias collection. Beautiful. The second was given to me by an old lady who wore the dress to her wedding. It was lacy and had a pink hue to it. I wasn't really a fan - mainly because of the pink hue and the fact that it made me look fat.

After changing back into my regular clothes, I enter another room to find myself standing face to face with a "friend". There were two of him. The first looked just how I remembered him before I began crying myself to sleep at night. He stood there wearing that smile of his I always loved seeing him in. The second version of him was thinner and more unkempt. I didn't know the second one.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to put you through what I did. There was just so much going on. I thought if I moved on with her, it would help me forget you. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Please forgive me... I need you...I want to be with you."

I took him into my arms and he held me in his. I whispered forgiveness in his ear and kissed him softly on the cheek. I began to cry as I remembered all the times he made me smile and laugh. "I'll always be here for you, but I can't take you back. I'm sorry." With that said, I let him go.

I walked around, tears streaming down my face, looking for something to drink. I didn't find anything, but I did find Gonzo. He knows where the drinks are. He always does! We walked to the bar at Riva and he ordered two pints of Kronenbourg 1664. We sat down at one of the tables as I began drinking away the hurt in my soul.

Afterwards, I went outside and planted my bare feet in snow. A child playing on the street asked me if I felt cold at all. "No, I don't feel anything," I told him.

CLICK: Another Unkept Secret
I do not know why "two" seems to be a recurring theme.

It's strange how the latter part of the dream resembles the events that took place last Friday. No, he-who-will-remain-anonymous did not say those things to me, but after seeing him I needed a drink and so I quickly left the lounge. I couldn't quite handle seeing them together. Not yet, anyway. That same night, although it was his birthday, Gonzo was nice enough to buy me a pint.

The more I think about it, I think seeing two wedding dresses and two of he-who-will-remain-anonymous is symbolic of the past and the present. There is the current dress and the vintage dress. There is the person I knew so well and the person I barely know. Why am I seeing each in the same dream? I don't know. I do know that at one point in time, I did want to marry him - but that ship has sailed and is nearing the horizon.

"Something old, something new. Something borrowed, something blue." All present.